So, after browsing so much Harry Potter fanfic that involved Mary Sues that I almost choked on my own bile, I now present to you my version of Mary Sue... handled by the wonderful Katcha and Snape.
Princess Rosemoon Jade Serenity Jewel Potter Riddle Black's parents died when she was 14 and she was totaly scared and hurt. Her great-grandpa Dumbledoor adopted her and brought her to hogwarts where she is every1s favorit person. But then voldemort found out she esisted and she had to go into hiding until dumbledor said it was ok for her to come back when she was going to be a 6th year right after Sirius died (he was her uncle. She was secretly Harry Potter's half-sister through tom riddle and Ron's soulmate. She met Harry and Ron and Hermione on the train and they were instantly bonded cause herminoe was impressed by her knowledge and Ron though she was hawt and Harry felt his scar warm up. She could totaly see the tretals cause her parents died which was sad and Draco thought she was hawt cause she was tall and willowy and had black hair with blue highlights and dark mysterious baby blue eyes and was really tan and wore skin-tight tank tops and flare jeans and had a mysterious amulet that she inherited from James Potters great-grandparents who she was also related to that gave her loots of power and mind control and flying abilities and good grades and she was part-cat and had a unicorn animages form and a dragon patromus and redeems snap from his evil ways to be this angel person thing by dying but then she isn t really dead and neville brings her back to life with this new potion he brewed because he loves her too and she goes on to defeat voldie because she turns into this unicorn angel with super powers and bright sparkly hair and purple eyes than turn red when shes angry and dies dramatically in rons arms but then isnt really ded cause shes immortal and then vampirs atack england and she has to defend her and rons baby cause ron died in a tragic accidnt so shes married to harry now cause it turns out they werent related and then she kills herself to save the world from vampires and demons and everyone mourns her death forever and she becomes a goddess to look over all her descendants
Katcha and Snape happily froliced down Hogwart's halls, on their way to their next class. However, a crowd was gathering in front of the Potion's classroom (which had suddenly appeared on the third floor for some reason).
"Boody ell!" Snape exclaimed, "We shall never get to class on time now! ... And when was the dungeon up here?"
Katcha looked just as confused and scratched her head.
They soon realized the all-male crowd was focused on one particular person. Shoving their way to the front, Katcha and Snape beheld the most hideous sight evah.
A girl who was almost glowing sickening Mary-Sueness had all the boys lusting after her with some evil spell.
"Ack! How did one of those get here!?!" Katcha said.
"I thought our world was safe from such freaks," Snape snarled, pulling out her wand. The Mary Sue started to cry because obviously her life was so hard because she was ridiculed for her beauty. The boys surrounding Katcha and Snape looked murderously at the two and all prepared to attack.
"Fetch boys!" Katcha yelled, throwing the yet-to-be-released Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince down the corridor. The students, who wanted to know if they would be next to die, raced after the book, Mary Sue forgotten.
"Where the hell did you get an advanced copy of 'Arry Pottah?" Snape said aghast.
"Pfffft. It was just a Robert Jordan piece of shit with the 'Arry Pottah picture pasted on it," Katcha said.
The two turned their attentions to the Mary Sue who was looking forlornly around, no doubt pondering her sad existence and wondering when she could find Dumbledore and join the Order of the Phoenix. Katcha and Snape, reading the Mary Sue's intentions to take over the world through her transparent head, tackled the beast and promptly executed her.
The world suddenly felt cleaner for the fortunate loss of the disgusting Mary Sue. Both Katcha and Snape felt dirty for days after touching the monster and shuddered at the mention of her name. Not so surprisingly, no one noticed when Mary Sue disappeared and soon forgot her existence.
Katcha and Snape congratulated themselves on a job well done and then went to dump the body in the lake.